i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize