if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
