idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Randomize
