guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
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