I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
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