Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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