I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
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my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
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I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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