Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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