Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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