we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
i've created a new STD.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Randomize
