I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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