Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Randomize
