ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Acid is not a monday night drug
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
