This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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