I must be too annoying 4 u.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Randomize
