I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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