I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
