i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Randomize
