I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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