in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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