Have you finally orgasmed yet?
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
