just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
