You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
