Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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