I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
