theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
