Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
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She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
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Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
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