the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
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