the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
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A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
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I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
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