i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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