The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
