i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
