So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Enjoy the penises
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
