Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
