I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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