They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
