it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
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Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
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Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
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