ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Randomize
