I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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