do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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