I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
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