dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
We were destined to go to rehab together
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
