this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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