who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
