there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Your penis caused this!
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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