there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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