So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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