Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize