That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
