what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
