her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
