I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
