its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Is Oprah even human
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
