I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
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he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize