I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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