thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
COCAINE IS GR8
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
