so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
