ya dads aren't the best wingmen
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
