I just saw a hot homeless man
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
