You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
