I like to think it a success when the cops are called
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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