I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
So much Jack, so little girl.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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