I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
