I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
