Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
