So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
