Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
